your parents love me but you hate me
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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