The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize