We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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