I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
