Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
