u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
