You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize