I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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