I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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