Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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