the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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