I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
