its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
