Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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