I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
