walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
