Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
