I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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