arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
