is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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