He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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