i think i have two assholes
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
