oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
