R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
