She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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