I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
