Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize