it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
