You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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