i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
