I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
