i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
