He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
