O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I think people are normalizing furries
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
