Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
