I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
