the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
