Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
