big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
