I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
