last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize