Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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