How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I am available for nakedness
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
