hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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