I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
