whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
third nipple confirmed
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
