That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
