no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
did you just send me my own nude
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
