Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
