i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
