I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I love you.
Bad choice
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