Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
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