HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
