AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
