I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
