You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
