How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
