didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I love you. Go after that dick
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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