You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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