walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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