in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm jealous of your bromance
thus making me awesome and them whores
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
And then the night went full on bisexual.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
