Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
