She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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