So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
