Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Randomize
