did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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