I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
