The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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