We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
