My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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