I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
