i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
